Looking Good Unwrapped

18 Jan

I have a problem explaining my body issues to my friends because, though I am convinced that every woman has that one thing (or those 12 things) they can’t seem to get over about their bodies, I am small by nature. I also don’t really exercise (I only added “really” to make myself feel better about the condition of my heart. I never work out). I’m not bragging, it’s not good for my heart, my energy level or my self confidence, but somehow, if you are born small, people refuse to recognize that there is still work that must be done. I finally heard a great way to describe it when I was at dinner with two friends last week. The same conversation about working out happened and one friend said, “Oh whatever, you’re so tiny, you don’t even need to work out” and before I could say anything my other friend said, “Yeah, but those kind of people generally look better wrapped than unwrapped”. She was both blunt and correct. I understand that most people look better with clothes on, but that has become my new confidence goal of 2011: Look good unwrapped.

This leads me to my next problem, which is, what is MY idea of looking good? I will not deny envying, on occasion, a pencil thin, straight little body that can wear any piece of clothing just as well as a hanger, but those bodies don’t hold my attention. I have a well known fascination with burlesque and I find what I am most drawn to is their idea of what a woman looks like. Women look like everything, but why is the agreed upon ideal female form that of a 12 year old girl? Though I do have the butt and hips of 12 year old boy, that ideal doesn’t work well with my DD situation up top, so as a young girl I was forced to look elsewhere.

I have a vivid memory of walking down the street somewhere in France and seeing this woman in a blue sundress. She was walking with two men and she was laughing. She was tall with long legs, a relatively small chest and long dark hair. I remember that the wind blew and her dress clung to her body and though she was built tall and thin, she had hips and this rounded little part beneath her belly button. I remember thinking she looked like a woman.

I’m still not certain what my ideal is or how I’m going to get there, but I do know that looking like a girl is not one of the options. I have no intention of losing every bit of fat or striving for washboard abs or superhero madonna arms. I want to be healthy and look happy, but I will also look like a woman, because that is what I am.

"The Bathers" by Renoir


Sincerely, no thank you.


One Response to “Looking Good Unwrapped”

  1. rachael January 21, 2011 at 11:54 pm #

    i remember one night we were chatting and you told me, “rachael, no offense, but i believe i will NEVER require your services.” i fully respect that sentiment, but i would like to offer my expertise, albeit over the interwebs, if you would like any thoughts on fitness/health.

    also? i am a firm believer in the curvy woman. (although i myself have like, zero curves, as i am built like a 12 year old boy and my boobs only pass for a B cup because of the padding in my bra. tres sad, but i have accepted it and found love for myself anyways as a shebeast. what was i talking about?) Not only is it healthier (yes females need fat, first and foremost for our hormones, which sadly rule our biological existence) (ie skeletor up there is far from healthy) (ie she prob never eats and maybe smokes and i would guess doesn’t menstruate) (IE DEATH) but it is also a hell of a lot sexier.

    i should probably mention i am on some cold medication right now. A LOT of cold medication.

    rachael out.

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